Toxiclabrat

2001-12-21T15:41:00.000-05:00

NewsFlash!!

I am slowly moving over to a new site which is under construction.
I am using the same name, Toxiclabrat. Please hop this link over, and Comment!!!

2001-12-20T18:58:00.000-05:00

Another Use For A David Letterman Saying...

So, okay, like I'm at Macy's at the Mall with my like best friend, my sister, Patty. And she is going to buy a whole shit load of clothes for Christmas Presents and for Herself. And of course, me. But before she buys anything, she wants to see what the discounts will be on said items.
So we go up to a counter and ask a Senior Citizen for help. We know she is an employee because she has that big white ID badge on.
Then, I spot "Macy's Water For Sale". I am so thirsty because it is so very hot in there. And the water is the going rate, if you're like buying it at a Casino in Atlantic City.
The employee scans each piece of clothing, and tells Patty what each item will be, and I tell her to please ring up the water that I am drinking. She scans the water.
Patty decides one blouse is still too expensive and tells the employee she is not interested in purchasing the blouse. But the employee rings up the blouse anyway. Patty tells her, and she gets all flustered. Now a line is beginning to form behind Patty and me. People in line. In the heat. Breathing heavily, and sighing deeply.
The employee starts to shake all over. I offer her my water to drink, which is about half empty. She just starts shaking, and rescanning all the clothes again. Now the water I am drinking is 3/4 empty. She grabs the bottle from me and states that she must scan it again. She begins dropping the clothes on the floor because she can't put them in the plastic bag fast enough. She asks me if I want the water in the bag. No Thanks, I answer. The water is all gone. I begin to question how long she is going to last, Macy's has just opened. Poor thing.

"Hey, what time is it?". "Are you cookin' beans?"...."Is Zorro On?.." Thanks, Dave for an excellent explanation for absolutely nothing making sense....

2001-12-20T18:28:00.000-05:00

And I like To Cut and Paste..
I am 63% evil.

I'm getting there. I haven't done all the damage I could do but I've done quite a bit. I'm just over the border into the Evil Zone.
This guy reminds me of Ben Stiller

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

2001-12-20T18:24:00.000-05:00

I Love Tests...

Because they include pictures, and I am very graphic....

The Castaway Quiz deems me:
	Mr. Howell Underneath that rough wall street exterior is a heart of gold. You will do anything for your friends, too bad they only like you because of your money.

2001-12-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

My Daily Fortune..

My Fortune for today: "Stop Criticizing Yourself, Stupid".....('tis true..).

A Few Weeks Ago, It Said: "Somebody Really Ugly Has A Crush On You"...

2001-12-20T08:48:00.000-05:00

Favorite Christmas Song...(so far..)

"Father Christmas" by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
Very appropriate for these times......

2001-12-18T12:14:00.000-05:00

My Hands! My Hands!

Red Eyed Tree Frog
Ribbit. It's not easy being green, but I go at it with a thoughtfulness and good faith that others would do well to emulate. I'm peppy but subdued all at the same time, and manage to keep others at bay until you can judge their true intentions. Still, I'm a trusting person, albeit a tad boring at times.

What piece of photography are you?

Find out at The Stock Photo Quiz.

Thank you, Hoopty, for giving me-yet another-informative view of myself!

2001-12-17T18:31:00.000-05:00

If I were a Dead Russian Composer, I would be Dmitri Shostakovich!

I am a shy, nervous, unassuming, fidgety, and stuttery little person who began composing the same year I started music lessons of any sort. I wrote the first of my fifteen symphonies at age 18, and my second opera, "Lady Macbeth of the Mtsensk District," when I was only 26. Unfortunately, Stalin hated the opera, and put me on the Enemy Of The People List for life. I nevertheless kept composing the works I wanted to write in private; some of my vocal cycles and 15 string quartets mock the Soviet System in notes. And I somehow was NOT killed in the process! And Harry Potter(c) glasses and broke them!

Who would you be? Dead Russian Composer Personality Test

Gee, I thought I looked like Claude Rains circa "Now, Voyager". I took this test via theothercheek.

2001-12-17T09:07:00.000-05:00

Okay, Its gone...

I deleted the entry. "It served its purpose". Catholic Guilt got to me, yet again.....

But, I have to be honest...it was fun being "naughty" (snicker..).
p.s. I think I am being "hoopnitized"...

2001-12-17T08:16:00.000-05:00

Should I, or Shouldn't I....

Said husband (who works for a "major" news network-"and don't you forget it") wants me to get rid of the entry below. He says I could be sued for defamation of character. Goto jail. Be handcuffed. By big guys. In uniforms.
So, should I, or shouldn't I? I mean, all I have to do is delete the entry....email me....link on the right....

The entry that was right here is gone....You can never see it again....nope....gone "forever"....

2001-12-12T07:36:00.000-05:00

I've Been Buttonated By Hoopty!!!

I have to admit--I am really impressed!
How the heck did he know what the inside of my brain looks like?
You are truly a Special Guy, Hoopty...Thank You So Very, Very Much!!

2001-12-12T07:27:00.000-05:00

For kd...

I just wanted to express a sincere Birthday wish to one of my favorite ladies, kd!!
For those in cyberspace who have no clue who she is (which is nearly impossible to imagine!), kd is the brains behind Surreally.
She has always been there for me!!! If we lived nearby, I am sure we would be close friends. She has actually answered my emails, which I find unimaginable because she is such a busy women! She works, has family, hobbies, and writes a dynamic site!
So, here's a toast of warm decaf from me to you on this early Wednesday morning! Have a Great Birthday, kd!!! Its your special day!!!

2001-12-11T08:27:00.000-05:00

This Week's Questions from Jessica

Okay, Jessica, here I go..

1. Online tests - you're moving beyond the simple fortune-cookie novelty of
it all by taking tests that draw on archetypes you aren't yet familiar with
(Reservoir Dogs, for example). What does that signify for you?
Philosophical exploration or fluffy time-waster?
Philosophical exploration. I'm always looking for a meaning in something. I still don't want to see "Reservoir Dogs"-even though it has received high praises-I am not into anything violent at this point in my life...

2. If you were Wonder Woman, how would you use your magic lasso?
I'd wrap it around me and make myself invisible...

3. What is your earliest memory?
Tying my shoes..

4. Do you have any strong beliefs that aren't easily provable or manifest?
(explain)
I believe in life after death...I believe in reincarnation. There are just too many people I have met who are "old souls", no matter what age they are..

5. Blossom, Buttercup, or Bubbles?
Here is that question again...I didn't know then, and I don't know now..are they drugs or dolls? Okay, I'll pick Buttercup, because it is the name of a horse I rode-right after I was knocked cold by a Championship Jumper. Also, it is the name of a little bud that we (as children) used to put under our chins. If our skin glowed yellow, it showed we liked butter.

6. You say you want to be an animator. What kind - cel, or 3D?
Why - what about animation floats your boat?
Cel-- to me it is softer. 3D can be cold and angry....

7. If you were stuck in the hospital for an extended stay, what would you
want friends to bring to you? (my husband knows to bring me meals from the
Hong Kong Flower Lounge in S.F. I swear that would cure any ill.)
Books of all kinds, Tabloids, magazines. If I were to be in the hospital, I would definitely want to escape from reality...

8. You're being sent to a remote island for an untold but very long stay.
This island has electricity, and as it would happen, a pretty sweet theater
and sound system. But you can only bring 5 cds and 5 dvds. What are they?
5 CDs: "Liberace Christmas" (don't laugh-that man could tickle the ivories..),Carole King: "Tapestry", Blood, Sweat,and Tears: "Child is Father to the Man", Madonna: "Ray of Light", The Moody Blues: "Greatest Hits".
5 DVDs: "LA Confidential", "The Verdict", "Xentropia", "Raise the Red Lantern", "Jean Cocteau's Beauty and The Beast"..

9. Oh and you can bring one book.
This is tough. I guess I could say the Bible. I tried but found it violent..which I don't want to read on an island..."Lord of the Flies" would be appropo.., but no. So, I'll say "To The Elephant Graveyard" which is a book I want to read...

10. What was your mission as a child? Not so much "what did you want to
be," but "what did you want to do."
I wanted to draw better than I currently did (which is what I want now).

11. OK, and what do you want to be when you grow up? (or if you're already
there, what is it?)
I am still growing up. I believe what Dylan said, "The Greatest Books haven't been written, The Greatest Songs haven't been sung". If we stop trying, we stop growing...I am constantly in a dynamic state...(which makes it hard to sleep..).

12. What do you think happens when we die?
The soul doesn't die, the body does..(which makes plastic surgery kind of stupid). I believe we keep coming back to this life until we learn and get it right...

13. What is love?
"A Funny Feeling.."

14. What's your favorite color? What does it evoke for you?
My favorite color is Blue. It gives me calmness.

15. And your favorite scent?
Vanilla.

2001-12-10T18:45:00.000-05:00

Blogger Insider

My Blog Buddy for this week is Jessica!
Please stop on by her Site--it is very interesting!
While you are there, I'll be thinking of answers to her questions--very Thought-Provoking.....!

2001-12-07T11:16:00.000-05:00

Somebody Stop Me.........

I took this test from SickSide. I have to admit, that I have never see "Reservoir Dogs", I have seen "Straw Dogs" which was strange enough. Anyway, here is what my test results showed:

2001-12-07T08:57:00.000-05:00

Is this the Twilight Zone...?

I am a Fish with a Bicycle.

My poetry kills cows, but only with an acute sunset. Four score bald men take their coffee for a walk with my conveyer belt. Death pays those who interfere with my green amusement.

Are your giraffes on fire? The Utterly Surreal Test

I now know even more that I over-think. I took the above test after reading Hoopty. I guess the fact that I am a Pisces shows the corelationship with the Fish....Just keep those tests acomin'...I'm ready.....

2001-12-06T17:47:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have some Questions about TV Commercials....

These are hard for me to answer, and I am usually good at trivia, and such.

The Gap Song for the Holidays: "Give a Little Bit of Your Love to Me", has 3 different versions that I presently know of. The one I am interested in, features Dwight Yoakom (?), Robbie Robertson, and the third guy who I don't know. He reminds me of a 60's sort of guy: "Beatle" haircut, black turtleneck. Anyone know who this guy is???

Kohl's song for the Holidays: Is that Bobby Darin singing "More". Sounds like him...anyone know??? There has to be somebody out there in cyberspace or Zee Land who can answer this.....

2001-12-06T16:26:00.000-05:00

What the.....?

I am 47% SKA.

I know the scene, I've heard the bands, and I am burned out. Well, these things happen. I will now go ahead and go through the same thing with Punk and Emo.

Take the SKA Test at Fuali.com!

I admit, I enjoy tests. I guess that is because I am 47% SKA, whatever that means. I don't even know what a SKA is! But I am almost there...
I got this test courtesy of the ZeeLister site, where I found a link to aka cooties.

2001-12-06T13:22:00.000-05:00

The Zeelister Site Is Up And Running!!!

The ZeeLister Site looks great! Congratulations to all responsible for setting it up!
I have already taken two of the tests listed on the Forum Site.
I am a "Cutie Kitty"

Take the What Cat Are You? test by webkin!

I am also 77.5% British, like Michael Caine: "although I know my way around London, I will most likely retire on the West Coast.."
Take the How British Are YouTest !

2001-12-05T11:59:00.000-05:00

Blogger Insider Match For Me.......Robin!!

I have joined the Blogger Insider and have been paired with Robin. She has submitted great questions, that I will answer now:

1.) if you could only eat one kind of food for the
rest of your life, what would it be?
I would have to say tempai, I am really hooked on it right now...

2.) what is one food you wouldn't eat ever ever, even
if you were really really hungry and nothing else was
available?
Potato chips because of the salt content...I haven't eaten them in 30 years, and have no intention of ever eating them. Also, I am against pork..I can pick up that taste in sauce in a minute..I really like pigs too much..

3.) why do you keep a weblog?
So someone would read what I write, it gives me a sense of being..

4.) why did choose that name for your weblog?
It is a true twist of fate that I will have to take medications for the rest of my life, many of them are very toxic, and experimental...hence the name "Toxiclabrat".

5.) when you listen to music, do you pay more
attention to the lyrics, or the music itself?
That really depends on the song. "Here, There, Everywhere", "In My Life", by the Beatles, because of the words, anything by Santana for the music, anything by Matchbox 20 for both.

6.) what is the url of a really cool website i might
not have heard of? (it can be any kind of site)
There are 4 which I am currently hooked on, but you can link to them via Surreally.com which is a very neat site onto itself. There you can view, TheOtherCheek, Hoopty and Enemy of the State.

7.) do you care about brand names, or do you just
think that is stupid?
I care about brand names, because I look at the price and then do a comparison of another product to see if it is up to par with the brand name. Sometimes brand names are worth the price, sometimes not...

8.) what is your favorite holiday, and why?
Thanksgiving because it happens during my favorite season, Autumn.

9.) are you a morning person or a night owl?
I used to be a night person, but now I am a morning person. It helps put me into a good mood for the rest of the day..Not always, but most of the time..

10.) what is your biggest coping mechanism in life?
Being in a Fantasy World. I am very protected there. Also, I cannot leave out the power of Prayer...

11.) artistic medium you have never tried but would
like to ("someday")?
Cartoon Animation.

12.) female celebrity you'd most want to look like.
I think most celebrities are made out of the same mold. So I would have to go with a celebrity that I think has it all together: Susan Sarandon, Jacqueline Bisset, Diane Keaton, Charlotte Rambling. I guess they all has a sense of older beauty, and individuality which I find extremely sexy..

13.) male celebrity you'd most like to look at you
(wink, wink).
Johnny Depp, Kevin Spacey, Dirk Bogarde (deceased, but he can wink at me anytime), I like a bit of weirdness. And I would have to throw in Robert Redford after I read that he admires wrinkles: He feels they show you are a survivor...

14.) what was the last thing you laughed out loud at?
I laugh all the time. At anything. It feels good. But the last time that I couldn't breathe from laughing so hard, was an article in The Onion News about a gentleman in a nursing home who goes out to by "Depends".

Thanks, for the questons, Robin, they were great!!!

2001-12-03T20:25:00.000-05:00

Little Ricky........drums.......The Bastard Next Door....

Every freakin' day that kid comes home from school. He plays the drums....over, and over, again....I hear "dum dum dum....dum dum....dum dum dum...dadum...dadum...dum dum dum..(repeat ad nauseum).
It starts at the same time, and lasts for about 2 hours. Now, I wouldn't mind if he would play a different beat now and then. Its always the same tune.

Its so bad, my cat wags her tail to it. I thought she was shooin' a fly or somethin'. Its the freakin' ass beat...It got to her. She comes down stairs just to listen to the beat. She's addicted.

Reminds me of the "I Love Lucy" episode where Little Ricky is playing the drums. He plays the same beat over and over....Lucy, Fred and Ethel, and maybe Desi all start walking to the same beat. Eventually, Little Ricky gets distracted, and goes on to something else. This is great, if everything can be solved in a half hour. Not real life though....This has been going on for a long, very long, time.
I, of course, want to ask him if he could play "In DA Gotta Devetta" (however its spelled). Just to change the pace.

last time I tried to talk to him he gave me the finger.....

2001-12-02T08:11:00.000-05:00

Plumbing and Elvis...

While helping my husband install new copper pipes in our kitchen...I try every once and awhile to take to break.
I am so behind in my reading, so I am currently perusing the November issue of "Vanity Fair".
An article titled "King of Kings" by James Wolcott, regarding Elvis' state of health:
"He had turned his body into a Toxic Blender"..
Goes with my web, doncha think. Oops,...Gotta go and ignite the Propane Torch!...

2001-12-01T17:48:00.000-05:00

World AIDS Day.....Stephan..

When I was a Respiratory Therapist, our department started an AIDS Clinic. The Staff consisted of me, and Charleen. No one else wanted to do it. The drugs given in the '80's were deemed very toxic. So, Charleen and I did it. I like to think that drug protocol has been advanced since then.
At the clinic, I met Stephan. We had alot in common: An interest in Art, Music, and the weirdness of life.
Stephan presented me with this drawing done in colored pencils. The photo doesn't do the drawing justice, but I wanted to share this with you.
Stephan died in 1991. He would have been 49 this year...

2001-11-30T11:00:00.000-05:00

Zee Listers Button

Right now I am working feverishly on getting a button for Zee Listers.
My ISP might go down in a few hours, ya just don't know. I wanted to end on a high note.
We'll see...

2001-11-30T07:11:00.000-05:00

"He Quitely Changed The World...

This morning I heard that George Harrison died.
He was my favorite Beatle. He introduced he to my own sexuality. He really,really did. He was my first major crush. I was 13 in 1964, when I first heard "I Wanna Hold Your Hand"..
It was through him that I developed a love of music, and an increase in my Spirituality.
I knew that he was sick. But, I also knew that if anyone could live with it, George could.
A few months ago, I read "The Beatle Anthology". I thought I had read everything about George. I was surprised to read that he had the same kidney disease I had, and was diagnosed when he was in his young teens. George went about the business of life. He would later be talked about with reference to his influence on music, and movies. I remember him in 1971, organizing the first concert for the needy, "The Concert For Bangladash". Long before it would be trendy...Long before the present media hype going on... and the organizations that are overflowing with our money.
I wanted to be like his first wife, Patti Boyd. She had straight hair, mine was wavy. She had blonde hair, mine was dark. Basically, she was not like me at all, so of course, I wanted to be like her. Not yet accepting myself for myself..(which I still have a problem with).
I, myself, would love to listen to "Do You Want To Know A Secret". You can hear him breathe on it..My heart would melt looking at those deep, dark eyes...I loved his eyebrows..In high school, there was a guy who looked like him, so I had a crush on him. He would run away from me. Later, I found out that he was in a "special" class..I had a major fling with a guy in my homeroom class who looked like George. Major, Major, heavy petting in our 4 years..(where have you gone, Joe L..?)
George Harrison believed that death was part of life. A major stumbling block for many. George always gave the impression that he was doing his own thing. Like it, or leave it... We all have to find our own niche in life.....
After much searching for the meaning of life, George will now have it all explained to him..What a major gift he gave to me, and several millions of fans.....
What a major influence on our lives...Now we all must go along with the business of living our lives as best as we can....
And to truly understand, that in living there is dying. This is a natural occurance. And, "All Things Must Pass"...

2001-11-29T13:55:00.000-05:00

Button Craze...

Several friends of the web are getting buttonized.
They are really cute little buttons upon which you can click on and be linked to different sites.
Soon, I will have a button for Theothercheek. I am hoping that this will give me a sense of "belonging" on the web.
There are so many web blogs to read....so many subjects...some very personal....some very funny....some irreverent (which I personally like!).
Some are just so happy and perfect, like the movie "Pleasantville". Not my style. Give me an askance view of all things, and I am like, totally, there, ya know??
Real often is too real....

2001-11-28T06:41:00.000-05:00

Interesting Trivia....

I recently received this from my friend, Debbie:

"Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water
temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be...

*Here are some facts about the 1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June; however, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a "bouquet of flowers" to hide the body odor.

*Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it-hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

*Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, rats, and bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery, and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof-hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."

*There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how "canopy beds" came into existence.

*The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor."

*The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway-hence, a "thresh hold."

*They cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while-hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

*Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

*Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leak onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, "tomatoes were considered poisonous."

*Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale pays and bread which was so old and hard that they could use them for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."

*Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."

*Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up-hence, the custom of holding a "wake."

*England is old and small and they started out running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave.

*When re-opening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer".

And that's the truth...
(And whoever said that History was boring?!)"

2001-11-27T19:40:00.000-05:00

Getting in the Holiday Spirit...

Today, I began to get in tune with the Season.
Even if it was slightly warmer than normal here on the East Coast, I didn't care.
I went shopping with my Mom.
Houses are already decorated, so I began to shop accordingly.
I decided to get a new front door decoration. I will put it on the wooden door, not the screen door. No sir, I learned from the pumpkin experience.
I also bought a hand carved wooden Nativity set to put in the Family Room.
My family isn't really exchanging presents, but I plan on making my "World Famous" cookies for them. They were a big hit on Thanksgiving. With cooking, I am experiencing a new creativity. I used to paint portraits, but have begun to be a bit lazy on that front.
But then again, there is no reason I can't do both. That is, after I sheetrock a section of wall in the Dining room, apply joint compound, and then paint it.
And also, after I help my husband knock down a wall between the Kitchen and Family room so we can put new copper plumbing under the sink!
There always seen to be something going on when you have an older home.
We have to put a new 1/2 Bath downstairs and a new Bathroom upstairs.
It is all because of the old galvanized plumbing in the house. It is very clogged and rotted out. You cannot unscrew a pipe without it breaking in your hands. So copper plumbing it is.
If, by Christmas, the plumbing isn't done in the Kitchen along with the new Kitchen design we are having put in, I will just use someone else's house to make my cookies!
I am going to have Christmas Spirit if it kills me....

2001-11-23T17:24:00.000-05:00

Fresh Roadkill...

After viewing kd's cat, I'd thought I'd publish a pix of my cat,
Kielty...

I purchased Kielty at the SPCA when she was 6 weeks old. She is now 8 years old.
After much reading, I am confused as to whether she is a Maine Coon cat, or a Norwegian Forest cat
She can be very loving when she wants to.
In this picture, she has found a new "toy", which also happens to be my Thanksgiving decoration. After about 5 minutes, she had no further interest in it, and fell asleep.....
What a life..

2001-11-22T07:38:00.000-05:00

"In Spite of Everything....."

Well, it will soon be time to sit at the Thanksgiving table with my family.

My family is not "The Donna Reed Show", or "Leave it to Beaver".....
More like "Laverne and Shirley"....on acid....
Here is a List of some family members:

1. Mom: eats and sleeps. Often at the same time. Good for one liners, i.e., "You used to have such beautiful hair...".
2. Sister: got a rotten break. Feeling the loss of her divorced husband who is now dead. He actually did go out and buy a red convertible Corvette! She sighs alot....
3. My cousin: "I'm beautiful, I have beautiful legs and a terrific body, why doesn't anyone want to go out with me?..
4. My other cousin: Going for his doctorate...small talk is not "intelligent enough"...can't be bothered with people who are not high-brow.....
5. Aunt: prejudiced....everyone has been "Lucky" but her and her family..
6. Niece: The smartest of the bunch....how did that happen?
7. Husband: favorite line: "Are we having fun yet?" (Can I tell you how much I hate that???)
8. Me: Getting more toxic with each blood work. Having more blood taken tomorrow. I have to look at the fact that I may be going back to Philadelphia after all- and be #92 again. That is, if anyone takes the time at the hospital to look at my latest blood work, which is probably lost in a pile of faxes, which no one has the time to look at.....

Yet, In Spite of Everything, It is Still a Beautiful World....I Am Happy Just To Be In It...
And, "In Spite of Everything, I Still Think That People Are Good".....

Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

2001-11-21T20:04:00.000-05:00

"The Little Pie Company"........Our Anniversary....

Tuesday was our 13th Wedding Anniversary.
My husband gave me a beautiful card, that told me how much he loved me, I am the center of his being, I am the most important person in his life, etc. Don't get me wrong, it was a lovely card. So, how come he can't just say this to me? Oh well...

For our anniversary he brought home "presents" from The Little Pie Company.
Included in my gift were 3 pies: Pumpkin,raspberry/cranberry, and apple.

He also brought home 9 cookies. All of them were in the shape of turkeys. 9 little turkeys...9 little turkeys beautifully iced in the same colors...like an army of turkeys....

Sometimes an eatable gift is just what you need to remind you of the man you married!

2001-11-21T14:59:00.000-05:00

Chocolate Math...

This was sent to me by my friend Debbie. She does not want to blog, so I am going to reprint this from her email.
I don't know if any of you have seen this, but I will print it nonetheless:
This "math" test only takes a minute.
Please do not read the bottom part first, or you will spoil the fun!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (try for more than one, but less than 10).
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold).
3. Add 5 (for Sunday).
4. Multiply it by 50.
5. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1751..If you haven't, add 1750.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
7. You should have a three digit number..
8. The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
9. The next two numbers are your age!
This is the only year (2001) it will ever work!

It worked for me, try it!

2001-11-16T22:01:00.000-05:00

Whoever said..

"Youth is wasted on the Young" was right.
I meant a woman today by the name of Billie. She was so busy travelling around, that her son never could find her.
She was a member of several committees, and loved to talk with people.
She was smartly dressed, and her hair was a light red color. She loved Atlantic City, and went once a month on the bus.
She looked right at you when speaking with you, and she loved to laugh.
She spoke about current events, and offered her opinion of the world situation.
I wanted to be like her. She had it all together.....

She was 87 years old!

2001-11-15T13:09:00.000-05:00

In Honor of My Father..

Monday, Veteran's Day, was an important day for my father and me.
My father died in 1981 of heart disease.
I was working in the same hospital that my Dad was admitted to. It was difficult for me, but I thought that I would be closer to him by working in the critical care units during this time.
I was a Respiratory Therapist then, and I took care of the ventilator that my father was on, along with analyzing his blood. I know that the staff thought that this was a little too much for me, but I just wanted to be close to him.
I was there when they removed the tube from his throat that was attached to his ventilator.
I was there when he was discharged, and again the three other times he would be admitted.
I was there the night he died....
It happend on a Friday, and I had the evening shift off. The staff had called to wish me a Happy Birthday, then they called back and said "Its your Father, he's Coding".
The amazing thing about my Dad is that he was a very quiet person. No one really knew what a great Father he was. He defended his country in WWII. He saw his best friend blown to bits during the War.
He never wanted the medals that he deserved. It was a little too much for him. But not for me. I wanted to have them in honor of my Father. So I began writing for information about his medals. It took me about 4 years of contacts, and research before I could obtain them.
This Monday, Veteran's Day. I received his Navy medals. It was a pretty elaborate ceremony. I had my Father's Navy sweater on. I wanted to wear something of his. I also wanted to represent my Father.
The ceremony was given for just 2 people-my Father and another WWII veteran. I received my Father's medals in a shadow box, along with a flag that was flown over the Senate Building. I cried. I cried when I saw the other Armed Forces people standing so tall and proud. I cried more when I saw a Navy representative cry.
I hope I did you proud, Daddy....
Happy Veteran's Day in Heaven......

2001-11-15T08:43:00.000-05:00

I found a Timemachine....

Just in case any of you are wondering what has happened to me....
Well, life is a little crazy around here, so....
I have escaped to another time and frame...(if even in my mind..)
Here I am...

I will attempt to come back every once and awhile...
But I have to admit, I kind of like it here...
I am "smoking" Egyptian cigarettes with no filter!!!

2001-11-07T13:03:00.000-05:00

Contest Winner Results!!!

And the Winner is: (drum roll please..) Charleen!
She was the first to identify the "Mysterious Man in the Photo".
I was made aware of the pix when I looked at GiftCatalog.com.
Here is the accompanied info regarding the photo:

"Frank Sinatra 1938 Mug Shot. A memento of young Sinatra's brush with the authorities (nope, it wasn't a publicity stunt).
The 22-year-old entertainer was arrested for "seduction" under false promise of marriage to a female of good repute. The charges were eventually dropped, allowing Ol' Blue Eyes to turn his dangerous charisma loose on America at large. The rest is history. Available in a black metal frame under Plexiglas or unframed. 20" x 35". (No gift wrap)."

Charleen knew that he had been arrested in Bergen County, New Jersey, but didn't know the year.
And I had blackened out that info! She's one Smart lady.
The actual date of the arrest was 11/27/38....
Many Thanks to all of you who tried to guess by emailing, phoning, or commenting on my site!

2001-11-06T15:20:00.000-05:00

Things happen in 3's........or shouldn't that be a higher number???

Today has been a strange day, and it is only the early afternoon.

I went to vote this morning.
The district I vote in can be either District 2, or 3.
I went to "3" first. The lady who checks your name, so you can sign on the dotted line was asleep--I woke her up.
It is 9:30am, dammit. "Asleep at the wheel"
Oughtta lose her job over this...., wait-isn't this a volunteer job?

Went to District "2". The lady in the same job as District "3's" lady was knitting.
I waited for her to finish a line of "knit one, pearle two". I spelled my name for her.
She said she forgot the first letter of my last name already-(it only has 7 letters in it).
I asked if I could find it myself, so it would be quicker.(everyone in the room laughed). Oughtta be fired...nope, probably a volunteer.

Went to get a haircut. It came out very nice, btw.
Thank you, Cheree.
A different hairstylist in the same room had a cell phone.
It rang three times while I was getting my hair done.
I now know how much her house cost, how much her mortgage is, why she is refinancing, and the percentage she is getting on her new mortgage.
This was all accomplished while she was styling someone's hair.
What's weird is that no one seemed to notice but me.

Got a call from well-known pots and pans place.
The saleswomen's name was "Mary", and she was notifying me that a cookie press I had called about was now in stock.
I had gone outside,so the message was left on my machine. I called right back. (2 minutes had gone by.)
Another saleswomen answered the phone. I asked for "Mary".
The saleswomen replied, "Mary isn't here-you know how it is, here one minute-gone the next".
Could have cared less about the cookie press or me.
Well, I will just accept that too. That is the way things are-I'm grown up and liberal-I can attempt to understand.

But if you were to tell me that "Mary" had just fallen asleep, while knitting, and her cell phone was ringing off the hook, while she was with a customer,and she was a volunteer---
well, now-- that is something that I would have a hard time understanding!!!

2001-11-05T14:21:00.000-05:00

I am being invaded by

Catalogs!!! All types of Catalogs!!! (I love it!!).
The catalogs come in all shapes and sizes....
Of particular interest to me, is odd stuff...the stuff I have never seen........
Stuff I would like to share with my fellow bloggers...
Can you guess who this is????

You can email me (for those who don't blog), or comment!

2001-11-02T09:27:00.000-05:00

Ode to The Soup Lady:

(Sing it like "Operaman" would:)

Holya Shita!!!,

Tanka Youa,The Soup Lady-a
Youa Knowa Mora Dena,
"Templatea Ladee",
Shea Designa Dis temple letta,
She gotta no ansa,
For Toxic Lab a Ratta,
Dis was a lot ta,
For Toxiclaba ratta to handle,
For helping mea,
I giva youa,
A Stangl Candle....
Tanka Youa....Gooda Bye-ee-e-e-e-!

(with apologies to Adam Sandler...)

2001-11-01T20:16:00.000-05:00

"Mona Lisa"

Did you know that "Mona Lisa", a song made famous by Nat King Cole, was not a love song at all, but a coded message in a World War II movie?
(I found this out by reading "Time Magazine".)

Do you suppose, if I play the song backwards, it will tell me that
"Paul is Dead"?

2001-11-01T14:03:00.000-05:00

A New Proclamation....

Having been to Shop Rite this morning for food to feed Toxiclabrat's somewhat human form, I have decided to make some changes in my sane world.

After almost being run over in the parking lot, walking behind a very, very elderly, frail women (with an unsanely large, thick grey wig, thereby making her neck look like a pencil, and shake like one of the those puppies that bob their heads, in the backs of cars, and...
She was going 0.00000001 cm an hour---I clocked it with sane wrist-like thing), and then being bumped into by an absanely large shopping cart full of diapers, and packages of raw,antibiotic-syringed-filled meat in plastic wrappings, and then being greeted unkindly by a check-out person who was a vision of an absanely large, women-prison-guard's body, with pulled back hair and the biggest face I have ever seen which blocked out sun rays and making her own eclipse upon said Toxiclabrat's visage, and then being honked at by a extremely large vintage vehicle run by an irregular shaped form-type with large hearing wings that flapped in the wind, I am proposing the following:

"Be it this day, in the land of the sane, on the planet earth (or there abouts), it is hereby put to the vote that the aforementioned Shop Rite shall now be called Shop Rong".

2001-10-31T09:38:00.000-05:00

And Life Goes On.............Thank you, kd.....

After reading an informative blog on surreally.com written by kd, I realized that
life goes go on, even if it is somewhat different.
So, I will try to keep things in perspective, if somewhat warped, because
like, that is my style, okay? Okay!

Once again, I will be "Disguising myself as a "normal" person. (Whatever the new
definition of "normal" is....)

I open my mail outside now.(Which gives someone the opportunity to shoot me in the back of the head.)
Anyway, I received a letter in a child's handwriting, with no return address.
Before calling the PO,and before being panic stricken, I looked at the back of the letter. It had a return label on the back. The label was of Snoopy, the dog from the "Peanuts" comic strip.
Oh, a perfect American symbol!

Then I read closer. The label contained the return address of a little girl I know. The letter was a birthday present Thank You Card!!

So, I guess this is the way life is now...being aware
at all times. This will be a challange for me, since I like to zone out-- alot. Especially in my own home. But I am willing and somewhat able to do this, and I will try..

Looks like I might be able to keep my "date" with Johnny Depp tonite, afterall!!!

2001-10-28T12:13:00.000-05:00

I Have Been Feeling That There is Somebody Watching Me......

Yes, its happening.

To me, of all people. Before you stop reading, which you just might, please read on:

(Please read my story, Bill Collin....:)

(My name is Toxiclabrat. I had been having strange events happen to me lately. My blog site is not working correctly.

The inner frame does not appear. I have written for help in two different locations. All those inquiries around me are being answered but mine. My comments to other sites are not appearing. I am getting email from hot places in the world,
when I reply to have my email removed from their site, the email is returned to me because the original email was "blacklisted" from my server. (Then how did it get through my server in the first place?)
My mail is being tampered with. Water from Lourdes, France was being mailed to me from my sister-in-law in North Jersey. The package arrived. The plastic water bottle was crushed, and all the paper wrapped around the bottle was soaked with H2O.
(It came very well packaged.)

The wild animals outside, all wait for me to feed them. (No big deal, except they are all together-the raccoons, cats, and opossums.)
"Time Magazine" had an article about Bin Laden and Company's desire to terriorize with use of toxins in our food and medicine.
(Guess who relies heavily on medication for her transplant?)

Said Husband and I went to New Hope, Pa yesterday. We ate in a little restaurant.
I noticed someone come in and sit to the left of me. She was alone. She sat and listened to the two of us talking. She did not eat, or drink. After about 10 minutes, she left.
How come my pictures in the last entry below appear, then disappear?
How come all my neighbors got the Sunday paper delivered today but me?
How come I bought the Sunday paper, only to find the Entertainment Section missing?
Just all a coincidence?...................maybe....
Or, is Toxiclabrat in the Twilight Zone.......
Place your opinion in the comment box..
Thanks Bill Collin, you can go now....)

If you in Blogland don't hear from me in three days, please notify
Johnny Depp, and tell him I won't be able to meet him on Wednesday...............

2001-10-27T12:18:00.000-04:00

Time For Some Levity!!----Introducing Punkee!

I was in desperate need of doing something crazy a few days ago.

My Holloween Pumpkin was stolen
from my front lawn, in an area that was extremely difficult to see from the sidewalk.

I was upset, so I
decided to create another one, and call it Punkee. I took Punkee for a little trip. Here are some pixs:

(So, I got carried away....)

2001-10-25T14:05:00.000-04:00

Upcoming Subject Matter for Toxiclabrat

I realize I have to gather up some subject matter. After reading Under the Same Moon, I think I may be able to publish some pictures for them at my web site. Please read their
site, very interesting.
Also, soon I will be showing off my new "friend" Punkee!!!

2001-10-25T06:02:00.000-04:00

Reasons to Run Away....

You can add your own reasons to the list. Heres, a starter:

Anthrax--Smallpox--Terriorists of Any Kind.

News on TV, Radio, any publication.

Your Own Mail.

Your Mother (and/or) Mother-in-Law.

Your Spouse (and/or) Significant Other.

Work.(You are smarter than your boss.)

The Jerk Who Stole Your Holloween Pumpkin That Was
On Your Own Lawn!

Nasty, Lazy: Salespeople, Check-out clerks in KMart, ShopRite,
or in any Department Store of Your Choice.(Why do so many have
bad attitudes? It is as if they are doing you a favor by even being there..
And they want you to know it!)

Crowds resemble Pod People.(ala, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".)

You Are Behaving Like A "Stepford" Wife.(Well, as long as you
can Blog...)

YOGA costs less in San Diego..

2001-10-19T16:57:00.000-04:00

Celebration 50+ Senior Expo

Recently, I attended this exposition. I came out with a new awareness of "getting old".
There really is life after 50. It is not an end to your life. In many ways, it is a new adventure!
Booths contained valuable information for those over 50. I saw several sprightly seniors.
Gone are the days of seniors being bored with life. They still have alot of living to do!

I was particularly pleased with the past winners and runner-up of The Ms. New Jersey Pageant. Below, you will see some pictures. I hope you will be as impressed as I was:

These women are in their late 60's and 70's!!!

They all had lovely voices...very strong!
I have to admit, I was very impressed.

I had just missed The Do-Si-Dos Square Dancers.... Darn!!..

And.. No, there was no jello!!

2001-10-18T20:59:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you're a wittle cwaaaazzeeee, Mr. Wabbit....

I had a problem tonight, at Yoga..

Yep, I have to admit it.
(Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.)
Below is my confession:
I was at Yoga tonight. I had placed my mat somewhat in a comfortable space. A new guy put his mat next to mine. I wasn't paying attention. I really wasn't. I was concentrating on relaxing my neck muscles, because they were really tight.(I really, really mean it.)
But, we were just a little too "close". Like, he was in my body space. (I felt the heat of his body.)
We sat in classic yoga pose, and began to relax our shoulders and neck.(Hmmm,mm, My shoulders are so stiff, would you relax them for me?)
We did a few relaxation exercises. We layed on our mats, bent our knees and touched our heals together, thereby lying spread-eagle on our mats.(Lay, Baby Lay,,,,Lay across my big brass bed..)
One of our last poses had us facing the window, and twisting our upper body side to side while letting our arms flow freely with our bodies. The new guy was right in front of me. I noticed the back of him.(What the?? White socks???Does he have a Fungal Infection??Is he on Tinactin"""Zeesss, Louise, who the hell wears white socks anymore???)
I looked at him with his arms swingin" all around...Wearin' White....And I started to laugh.(Oh, My God, I can't stop laughing!)
I actually put my hands over my mouth, and stopped swinging around.(Stop screwin' around-- you're gonna get in trouble, you're gonna get in trouble..)
"Praise to Mighty Budda"!(Oops, sorry Father...) The exercise was over.We eventually put ourselves on our mats in classic relaxation pose, called "Savasana".(His body is steaming from sweat...I can hear him breathe....sorry, Faith Hill, sorry also to you, Father.)
Heck, I never relaxed! My brain was scrambled eggs. I thought about everything..(The survivor ads for tonight say that the survivors are going to drink blood, but really it should be blood and milk, that is what the Masi drink...why don't the ads say that..... why does Dan Rather not want to take Cipro.... What time Stan will come home tonite......Wonder if there will be alot of shopping at Christmas.....Hope my cookies come out okay for Christmas gifts......It may be time for an oil change for my car......Big Concert tonight......
Needless to say, tonight was not a good session for me.(People are sleeping, and I'm wide awake!!!)
Yep, I definitely had a problem tonight at Yoga.(You have committed a sin of impure thoughts, My Child. For your penance, you will have to give 60% of your weekly salary to the church. And I want gross, not net, My Child. You have committed the most serious offense of a married women. You thought impure thoughts of another man. You shouldn't even think impure thoughts of your own husband, you hussy. WHORE!!! I want a portion of your salary for the rest of the year. And I want it in cash! I want it handed directly to me, and me alone..Don't tell your husband. I will do that myself, if you don't give me the cash. All in small bills. No envelope. Don't even write my name on anything. Bad, Bad, women. Shame on you, and your kind!!)
(Bowing my head, sure Father, starting this week. No problem. Are you sure that's enough penance? Are you sure you don't want 75%--will I now be cleansed..?)
(That is enough for now my child, we shall see.)

Scrambled eggs, scrambled eggs, indeed..(He can up the penance as much as he wants. I don't work!! (laughter))

2001-10-18T17:01:00.000-04:00

Newscaster....... Lucille Ball........

Today, my husband called me and said that there was someone who came down with Anthrax.
This was very important to us because the person infected works in the same building as my husband.
I asked him how long he had known this, and he said that he found out about it about an hour before the other news networks did.
He, himself, has not yet been tested. The network he works for also did not clear out the building, as did other networks...

The show must go on!!!. When the newscaster was asked if he were going to take Cipro, he replied that no, he would not. They would broadcast another wonderful show tonite--The Show Must Go On !!!!! Business was as usual, and they would continue to work, as usual. The Show Must Go On!!!!

This of course, I had to make into something funny. So I thought of a Lucille Ball episode in which Lucy , once again, wants to break into show business. A major thread throughout most of her episodes.

The female entertainer gets stuck into a closet, or was it that she did not show up in time? I've seen mostly all the episodes, I get them scrabbled up !

Desi wants to call off the show, and Lucy saids no,"The Show Must Go On".

This gives Lucy a chance to shine, and show off her "talent".
Maybe, this will be true with the Newcaster.
And so it goes....
"The Show Must Go On".

2001-10-16T15:42:00.000-04:00

Flashback to Paris....................

Recently,I read Bobthecorgi's Blog on her visit to a Cemetary in Pennsylvania.
This got me thinking about the famous Cemetary in Paris:Pere Lachaise. This Cemetary is well stocked with famous inhabitants. Among them being:Chopin, Oscar Wilde, Gertrude Stein, Edith Paif and:

Jim Morrison's Grave and Headstone, Pere Lachaise Cemetary-Paris

His headstone is now gone.
I think his Headstone was created by a Fan.

When my friends and I were there, in the early "80's, graffiti was all over other monuments stating "This Way To Jim's Grave"!

Many admirers of Jim left notes, pictures, and poems.

I did some research and found that all one need's to do to be buried in the famous cemetary, is to die in Paris.

And Jim did. In July, 1971.

2001-10-12T22:09:00.000-04:00

"GENERAL HOSPITAL" Zinger.......

I heard this today while watching "General Hospital"(Right before it was pre-empted due to new anthrax information).
(All my life I have tried to look for a "joke" when I hear something sad. Form of survival. So, on with the show!)
Stephan Cassidine has a vendictive,"killer takes all" Mother, Helena Cassidine. She holds grudges, many lasting decades.
In today's episode, Helena is trying to woo her son, Stephan, with promises she cannot really keep at this time, because she's got big plans for something else to happen. Stephan tells her he knows alot about what she is planning to do.
After a few argumentative words, Stephan smirks:

"What do you suggest, Mother-
A Formal Dinner
With forks to the left,
Knives to the back???
This was almost as cool as the time Stavros Cassadine,(Helena's son, who came back to life, after being dead for 20 years. Helena gave him a special potion, which brought him back to the present. Stephan, who was his young brother, is now is older brother-am I confusing you yet?)
In this episode, Stavros was looking into the TV camera. Wearing just pants. He was putting cologne on. He began dancing seductively to the song, "I'm Too Sexy For My Shirt"!!!
I wonder if the writers are aware just how much dry humor they have!!!!!!

2001-10-11T15:04:00.000-04:00

#92-------Outta Philly

On Monday, I took my hopefully last (until 6 months from now) trip to a Major Philadelphia Medical Center. I truly hope I never will have to see that place again.

My husband and I took the trip together. He thought we would be there in plenty of time because of the Columbus Holiday. No problem driving, he said. There will be "no one on the road".
However, Instead of the trip taking two hours, it took 2 3/4 hours. Way too much traffic. Cops stopping trucks carrying oil. (My suspicion for future attacks on this country...). Car accidents. Flat tires. Stopping and going. Just your everyday serene drive....(what the hell happened to that by the way?)
We finally reached the Medical Center. We had to detour around because of the construction going on. We entered
the front of the Hospital, only to find it being patrolled by several armed police and security guards.

Upon entering the clinic, I signed in. I then went to sign my name to a clipboard posted on the wall, like usual. It wasn't there. Replacing it was a ticket machine, the kind you see in a deli. Sure enough, I later found out, they call your number, and you get blood work taken. I was #92,and would remain so for at least 4 hours

#92 was called to have its blood taken. #92 was asked for her name, address, and phone number.
#92 was weighed and had its blood pressure taken.
#92 waited for its Medical Pod to see it. #92 waited a long time. #92 wanted to look at its wristwatch to check the time. #92 briefly thought that the watch had been surrendered--then realized the watch hadn't.
After several hours, #92 was taken into a cubicle.#92 was surprised to see instead of Medical Pod, she saw a Mini-Medical Pod being introduced.

Mini-Medical Pod clicked its heals together, bowed, and opened #92's chart. Mini-Medical Pod did not know #92. Mini-Medical Pod was condescending to #92, despite the somewhat intelligent questions being as of Mini-Medical Pod.
#92 asked about its loss of hair, loss of weight, and blood levels. #92 was asked to just be lucky that it was alive.#92 wanted to scream in frustration.

Mini-Medical Pod and #92 were then taken to see Medical Pod. Mini-Medical Pod spoke to Medical Pod about #92's state of health,despite the fact that #92 was in the same room as Medical and Mini-Medical Pods. #92 felt that it should speak for itself, after all, #92 has lived like this for a while-and knows more about its case than Mini-Medical Pod did. #92 sat there quietly..
#92 took a deep breath in, and courageouly requested if it was possible to go back to her Local Medical Pod. Both Pods looked at each other
The Pods then agreed in unison,that #92 could be allowed to do so, provided it come back in 6 months.
#92 had the balls to look into each of the Pods' hollow orbits, shake their sweaty, unfeeling, handlike appendages, and say "Goodbye".
#92 then went with sleepy said Husband and made future appointment, noted date in its notebook for future bloodword needed, and walked out Front Gate.

The Units drove away in their moving vehicle, and #92 was silent. Then,slowly, #92 felt warmth, renewal and life throughout it,--as if #92 was feeling somewhat more alive then she felt before!!
She was "becoming"!!!!!..........
They slowly drove to the Benjamin Franklyn Bridge

Toxiclabrat turned around, viewed the Skeltonian Metropolis----- and gave it the finger!!
Her husband looked at her as if she was more nuts than previously.
AHHHHH, said Toxiclabrat, smilely broadly.
Its great to be normal again, Toxiclabrat thought.
Life is good!
Life is good, indeed....................

2001-10-06T20:06:00.000-04:00

Confessions of an Addict..........

This is the week I discovered I am an addict.

No, My addiction is not drugs, or sex, (but on the other hand......)

My confession is below. It is a conversation between me (TLR) and the service department (SD) of a large metropolitan retail store:

TLR: Hello?, is this the Large Metropolitan Retail Store's Service Department? I hope you can help me! You see, I have the Hitachi 53" Projection TV, model #53SDX01B which I think is broken! I can't hear "General Hospital"! The volume won't go any higher! (pulse rate increasing) This is the week Tony Geary comes back!!!!!!!!! I can't...................

Nasty Store Worker: Hold on Lady, just hold on.....I'll transfer you to the Service Department...Gees....

ring..ring....ring.

TLR: Hello, Hello...????? (palms sweating, legs shaking, heart pounding, feeling dizzy...)
SD: Service, can I help you??? Hello...?

TLR:Yes, Yes, you can!!! You see, I have the Hitachi 53" Projection TV, model #53SDX01B which I think is broken! I can't hear "General Hospital"! The volume won't go any higher!!! This is the week Tony Geary comes back!!!!! I can't believe this is happening! Tony is the reason I watch "General Hospital"in the first place. And I want to be able to hear him. Now I won't know what kind of poison he has been given. And I can't find out about the Cassadine Empire and what is really Going ON!!!!!
SD: Now, now, just settle down. I want you to get a piece of paper, and a pen or pencil.. Do you think you can do that?
TLR: Yeah, Yeah, I think I can.....(whimpering).

SD: We can see you at 10 am on Wednesday.
TLR:Can't you make it any sooner???I wanted to hear...(shutting up and realizing how anxious she sounds).........okay, if that is the best you can do..........

SD: You know, lady, you sound so really desperate for us to come over and fix your damnTV! Can't you do something else in your spare time??? Like write a website and call it Toxiclabrat or something???
Gees......."of all the places, in all the world", you have to dial into mine!!

TLR:(feeling very embarrassed) Well, I appreciate this appointment very much. I can probably just go over my sister's house and watch it on ............hello???hello????????
Toxiclabrat hears silence on the other end of the phone. She wants to call back and tell SD how important this is to her. It is now apparent that if she does, she may not get anyone to come to her house and fix the TV! Her name might go to all the surrounding TV repair departments,warning them about her ....!
She might just have to visit "Port Charles"and get help there....Hmmmmmmm.

Yeah, that's it.!!!! That's exactly what she'll do!!!!!

She just might even look up "Bobbie Spenser", and see if she has a room available at her brownstone....
but then again, there is that nice place behind "Jake's"...it may even have enough room for a small TV!!
It is at this moment, and only this moment, that Toxiclabrat realizes how addicted she is to TV.
Nevertheless, Toxiclabrat does see a light at the end of the tunnel!
Tonight, on HSN, Adrienne Arpel is on!!!
Toxiclabrat doesn't even need sound to hear Adrienne....She knows the products by heart, especially, the ones that are"Herbmetically sealed vitamine E capsules, not sold in any other store, they are highly resistant to water, highly resistant to makeup removers, last from 48 to 72 hours"..........

2001-10-05T14:32:00.000-04:00

Music.....The Blue Notes.....Treasury Notes.....Treasury Bonds.....U.S. Bonds.....Gary U.S. Bonds.....Gary Bonds.....Mark McGuire.....The McGuire Sisters.......Music!!!

This almost could be "Eight Degrees of Separation"!

Hey, bloggers on Surreally.com, a Great website, are really interesting writers!

2001-10-02T14:53:00.000-04:00

Bad Things Can Inspire......

This week's U.S. News and World Report mentions a book by Harold Kushner: Living a Life That Matters.
In the review, there is one line I wanted to mention for you to read:

"If you can't control the length of your life, you can control the breadth and depth of your life........"

I thought this was of particular interest to those of us who have a life-altering illness, or know someone who does. Thought it was
of particular interest to all of us right now...

So...............With That In Mind..........On with another great edition of "My Mother-In-Law"..

On September 11, (hmmmmm..) she called her youngest son and said she couldn't walk."Help.......Help......."she cried into the
phone. He came right over (Good Little Son). The door was locked-he couldn't get in. He told her that the door was locked. She
cried, "I can't walk, if I get up and walk I will fall down". Then I will huff and puff and break down the door he called. She got up and
opened the door. (hmmmm). He called me. Toxiclabrat (TLR). She is in really bad shape he cried. I have never seen her like this,
he stated. TLR had heard it all before. Several times. Over 13 years.

If you think she is really bad this time,TLR stated without emotion, have her go to the hospital. GLS told his mother to dial 911,
and get an ambulance to carry her on a stretcher into the ER. He then left because she was going to call for assistance. We all kept calling the ER to see if she was there. She called TLR a few hours later. She stated that she was in really bad shape, and wanted to know how TLR was doing. She had not gone to the ER. TLR said that this was not the time to discuss her -that horrible things were happening in NY-and that TLR was tired of listening to her shit all these years. TLR said go to the ER now. She drove herself to the ER..Yep... drove...

She stayed for 10 days. Was entertaining to the other patients. She signed herself out AMA on Thursday. On Friday, GLS wanted
to know how she was, so he stopped to visit. Her eye was bloody. GLS called TLR. She is in really bad shape he cried. I have never
seen her like this, he stated. TLR had heard it all before. Several times. Over 13 years. TLR called her. TLR called her and told her
that all her symptoms sounded like she stroked out. Little stroke. Can still walk and talk apparently said TLR.

The sons and daughter talked later that night. Maybe she needs a nursing home,they decreed. Maybe she needs live-in-help, they
shouted. This was later told to her........

On Saturday, she was in great shape.Yep.. No signs. No symptoms.

On Sunday, she attended GLS's birthday celebration.

She was the Life Of The Party........................................

TLR stayed home...."Bad Things Can (truly) Inspire"!!

2001-10-01T07:48:00.000-04:00

The Sopranos...."Beneath the Veil"....Bin Laden....WTC attacks......

Well, I thought I could handle it.

When I heard about some people not being able to watch violence on TV or the movies, I thought that was other people.
Sure, the WTC attacks bothered me. I felt vunerable---especially when I heard that other people felt vunerable,too.
I thought that I had accepted my own vunerability. My own personal struggle with kidney disease was somewhat undercontrol--
Then, I heard about people just now having to accept their own vunerablity. It made me even more aware that sometime, somehow each one of us will meet their own demise.

We all face that now. We all look around and wonder, "When will it happen again?" Americans have been so generous in monetarily helping the victims of the WTC attack. When the next one comes, how much more do we give? I read the US gov't is giving 25 million dollars in aid to the refugees crossing the border from Afganistan to Pakistan. Than I read "US News and World Report" where it stated that groups of the refugees have guns with them and are shouting "Kill the Americans". Hey, lunch is on us, guys.....

I watched "Beneath the Veil" on CNN last night. They showed a man who had been skinned by the Taliban. His bare skull was left with his left eye still in its socket. In a bodily response to buffer myself, I thought of the character in the movie "An American Werewolf". He had died by a werewolf, and yet continued to haunt his friend-and decay. His face looked like the one I saw last night on CNN. I laughed then, I can't laugh now.

I watched "The Sopranos" last night. A young man was shot in the foot. Because he wouldn't give out pastry in time. I didn't laugh.

Maybe, I'll watch cartoons. But, they can be violent too. Every magazine has an article or a picture relating to Bin Laden. I think I will just read fashion magazines. Are Camoflage outfits still in???

Yep, I thought I could handle it.

Guess I am having trouble doing it like everyone else................

2001-09-28T18:14:00.000-04:00

Credit to Fellow Bloggers

I would like to give credit to those fellow bloggers who have commented on what I have written. I wanted to put your names
in the vertical column to the right.

I also wanted to mention you in my future messages. That way, all one has to do is click your blog name on, and go to your
web site. However, I have not been successful in doing this, despite leaving messages on "How To". I am hoping that someone
will answer this mystery for me.Yet, I still Blog on!!!!!!!!

But anyway, I wanted to thank all of you, particularly:"bobthecorgi" (this of course, should be underlined and readily accessible to all
of you reading this). Thanks for the help given in establishing this blog! And also for the help "bobthecorgi" has given me in greater
ways, which I hope that person knows. Love to you, bobthecorgi!!!

2001-09-27T13:13:00.000-04:00

Ever notice that Bobby of "General Hospital" works on a regular staff floor.........
helps in surgery..............Walks around in a suit that is sooooo tight..............yet gets sooo much time off........
She even helps out in ER.................I know hospitals are short handed but this is really stretching it.........

2001-09-27T08:01:00.000-04:00

750 MILLON DOLLARS!!!!!!!!!

Heard about the very generous 750 Million Dollars donated by the people of the United States for the World Trade Center Victims and their Families.

Couldn't help but wonder what agency is making sure that this money goes to the appropriate people. And who monitors that agency?

Anyone know?????

2001-09-26T08:13:00.000-04:00

..TOXICLABRAT..............YOGA..............LUCILLE BALL..

I had had a previous experience with Yoga in the late '70s. The atmosphere was cold, and started at 7:30 at night once a week. Plus, the class was held in the dead of winter. I was working at a hospital then-evening shift. I had asked for this particular day off during the week. Everything was really not too inducing for starting yoga-at least for me. But I continued. The instructor was a elderly women who was really in shape. She bent herself in all positions, was never out of breathe. The rest of the class grunted and grown, me included. Anyway, I finished the class. I did achieve the wonderful position of standing on my head. Without my hands. I was screaming all the time. She said I could do it. It was not easy. But then I thought what a wonderful addition to my resume. Just think, I could write that not only had I achieved several things in my profession that were nearly impossible for women at that time, but I could stand on my head. Perhaps the circus would invite me to join them. Wow, could you imagine, me standing upon my head on a elephant! With a pretty costume. The elephant would go around in circles while I stood on my head! Perhaps I could date someone who worked in the circus! Wow, the man with no bones-a side show "freak". Could you imagine the interesting positions we could get into? All while I stood on my head....
Anyway, I digress (Yet again). So, alright, I am getting to the subject matter. I went to visit my lovely, love-of-my-life niece last month in San Diego. I was supposed to visit her in April of this year. I got a kidney transplant instead. It was a tough decision to make-San Diego or a Kidney. I went for the kidney! I know what you are all thinking.......Wow, she can stand on her head and has a kidney transplant---KINKY!!!!!!!!!!! So my niece takes yoga class. I wanted to take a few classes with her. The last class was taught by a lovely "I've got my shit together" Women. She wore a very comfortable white pants set. Gauzy. She had thick long hair, sprinkled with grey. She played cassette tapes. One song sounded like they were chanting "Found someone to love" over and over again. So I
was quietly saying that. She later said it was an Indian chant. Well, I got the good vibrations nevertheless. Then she played a cassette of happy, fast music. She told us all to standup, close our eyes, and dance. "Dance as if you are alone in your house", "Smile, Smile", "Be Happy, and Smile", "You should always Dance and Smile"! I think I got too carried away. I opened my eyes for two seconds and looked at my niece dancing in front of me. She was dancing, but not as carried away as me. At least I think, because I closed my eyes back, and really smiled and danced, Danced, DANCED!!! The chant/song was happy, Happy,HAPPY!!!
I kicked up my legs, tossed my head from side to side, went back and forth on the mat. I hopped around, and smiled, Smiled, SMILED!!! All while my eyes were closed. I was really having a good time. I realized that my dance composition resembled Lucille Ball, in an episode of "I Love Lucy"! Remember the episode where Lucy has her baby doctor come to the apartment, She gets locked in some kind of box and they begin singing "Flies in the Buttermilk, shoo fly,shoo"? Yep, that was the dance I was doing. Having a really good fun time. Then the cassette tape broke. I froze in the position. One leg was bent while standing. The other leg bent to my side in the air. Elbows out, bent, with knuckles together. Head cocked to one side. That's what I saw when I opened my eyes. I guess some things are better done with one's eyes closed........................

2001-09-25T09:24:00.000-04:00

Blog isn't set up right....

I will have to spend some time on getting the blog extras correct. My comment indicator is not working correctly.
Hope I can get it fixed some time soon

2001-09-24T21:49:00.000-04:00

A Question.....

Why is it that just when I have a dinner prepared, my husband comes home late? Now dinner is cold, and he is tired.
Why is it that everytime, and I mean everytime, I wanted to watch "Big Brother" at 9:00 he would walk in at 9:05? Why is it that when the show ran at 8:00, he arrived home at 8:05? Why is it when I am on the phone on a private conversation, he comes in after work? Why is it that this really annoys me? Why don't I greet him at the door, dressed like Donna Reed, (Or wrapped in see-through plastic)? Why????

2001-09-24T17:32:00.000-04:00

I recently discovered that I really don't know my neighborhood. Sorry to admit it, but I have been in my home since 1987.
Even though my home is old, I am proud of it. I bought it (or rather put a deposit on it) one year before I was married. I treasure the time I spend alone. I have recently expressed a real desire to learn more about myself, my neighborhood, and the age old question of "Why am I here". But I have discovered that in my area, people just don't want to be bothered. There are no neighborhood picnics or garage sales. We all nod to each other. A while back, I was patching up a crack in my walkway. The local cops came walking down the street. They had a mission. I asked if they wanted something. They ignored me. Of course, I thought they were after me. After all, I am a child of the 60's. I felt guilty (religious guilt). I honestly was just going to scream out "Alright, I did it" although I didn't know what I was admitting to. Anyway, they ignored me and proceeded to go to a neighbor's home. One went in the back, one on the porch. They were very quiet. Somehow, they got the intended out and at that same time a policecar slowly approached the house. The teenager was placed in the car. The police never spoke to her when they were walking to the car. Then her father came out to speak with them in the car. When he walked back, I asked "What happened, is everything alright?" He answered, "Its a long story", and walked into the house. Well, can't admit I didn't try. At least I expressed concern. Guess they wanted privacy...
I discovered this past weekend just how big the park is at the end of my street. I had been walking just in the front, but have learned the park goes all around the lake. So I went around it. I counted 12 geese swimming in a row.
I smelled a honeysuckle, which reminded me of the trail I once walked on while very young ( The trail is gone now, left only in my memory). I saw berries of various types. The trees were beginning to turn into their fall colors.Mmmmm, Autumn, my favorite time of the year. There was no noise. I was getting back to nature. I felt peace and appreciation for all I have. And I heard the sound of silence. Total silence. Perhaps the park thrives among its own privacy. I left feeling comforted. Sharing a quite moment with nature. After almost 14 years, I can't believe that I found a little sanctuary near my home. I now go there, seeking privacy too............

2001-09-23T19:27:00.000-04:00

A continuing story about My Mother-in-Law
My Mother-In-Law (Mil) lives in a very big house. It is old. If you really used your imagination, you could describe it as a later version of the house in the years-ago version of "Great Expectations" starring a young John Mills, and Wendy Hiller. Her house even has the cobwebs.......There are 5 bedrooms in the house. She uses one. The rest are inhabited by a small country's population of her "friends". One day, I wanted to see what was in one of the bedrooms. I told her I was looking for a ladder ( I know, I am pathetic). I went upstairs and very gingerly opened a massive dark brown, wooden door by its glass knob. I slowing entered the room. I was greeted by them. They stared at me. Their outfits consisted of very curly, long wigs. In all colors. They wore long dresses, white stockings and Mary-Jane shoes....some were on the bed, some on chairs. But they all faced me. I felt a chill come over me......Then I heard several voices in my head, all saying in unison: "We caught you, you bitch, now we're telling Momma!" I stared at the dolls, and slowly backed out of the room. I carefully closed the door which this time seemed very heavy as if to prevent my from leaving....I got out.....I leaned against the wall.................Opened my mouth and popped a Xanax....

2001-09-23T18:25:00.000-04:00

My Mother-in-law ,Miss America, and Bette Davis have alot in common. Both Miss America and my Mother-in-law (Mil) love pageants. In the case of Mil, her pageants feature her family as the audience. Both have experience in talent: My Mil loves to dance. She dances at funerals. She dances at Malls. Both wear fancy gowns. My Mil's gowns are probably as old as the first Miss America Beauty Pageant. In fact, according to her, she has bags and bags of fancy clothes that are vintage. I asked to see them, she said "they are much to valuable for you to see". Both wear lots of makeup-which leads me to the Bette Davis connection. My Mil has a curly blonde wig, that should have been washed years ago. I'd hate to think what is growing in there. Probably the ebola virus. I know she has other wigs-she wore two different wigs to my wedding, plus two different gowns. with long gold gloves. That is of course when I really began thinking "What the hell kind of family did I get my independent ass into, anyway?) Both Bette and Mil are (were) smokers. In fact, sometimes when I see Mil, she reminds me of one of the last appearances Miss Davis made on the "Johnnie Carson Show" I am willing to bet that she has a gown like Bette wore in "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane". She could dance on the beach like Bette did at the end of the movie, in the baby-like white nightgown.